Totally agree Alexander. I think that often people decide not to give up, even when reality shows that they should, because they see it as a sign of weakness, fragility or incoherence. If you look at their own words, giving up is the opposite of persisting, and that in itself gives rise to cognitive biases about behaviour.
When people feel conditioned by fear, they always think they shouldn't give up, because that would be a sign of giving in to fear.
An example: in sport, is it preferable to give up fighting for first place when you think you can come second? or to keep fighting for first place and end up giving up the race because you kept pushing?
When I started yoga and was talking to my therapist about how good the child's pose that we did at the end of a class felt, he said "Letting go is a powerful thing to do."
One of the best ways to quit something stupid is to regularly fast- which is a funny word as it means to stop eating.
In effect it means to stop everything, because if you stop eating you slow right down and don't do many things with any speed at all.
Fasting on a regular basis helps you to review where you are and what you are doing.
The point of fasting is not to punish yourself to please God, but to undertake a voluntary rest from the usual pace of life, and focus on God's way of life- to get off the treadmill and observe what we are doing.
When we undertake fasting with prayer, we can observe what we are doing in an objective and honest way.
The voluntary cessation of eating puts you in a frame of mind to voluntarily cease other things as well.
Eating is necessary for life, but to voluntarily stop eating is essential to determine if you are living a life that is supporting and promoting life, rather than one that is undermining the pattern of life.
Alexander, this is exactly what I needed today as I've been waffling back and forth with some life decisions and feelings of overwhelm. I'm so stubborn, and it takes multiple signs from the universe for me to give in, but this happens to be one of them haha. Thanks!
I learned this in my first days of divorce after 10 years of drowning in regret and prideful resistance to the inevitable realization that nothing could save that relationship...so I had to let it go...to save myself..so I could be present for my small daughters who were counting on me to make a way as a single mom...it was not what I had planned and at times I struggled to be the best mom for them..yet I never thought of returning or even missed my life before...letting go of my illusions of a marriage that was not meant for me was the only answer...but it was challenging and emotionally ...painful...and 30 years after..still letting go one layer at a time...
An example of this was my career change from social work to higher education. I wasn’t good at social work and wasn’t enjoying it. Looking forward to my higher education career
Totally agree Alexander. I think that often people decide not to give up, even when reality shows that they should, because they see it as a sign of weakness, fragility or incoherence. If you look at their own words, giving up is the opposite of persisting, and that in itself gives rise to cognitive biases about behaviour.
When people feel conditioned by fear, they always think they shouldn't give up, because that would be a sign of giving in to fear.
An example: in sport, is it preferable to give up fighting for first place when you think you can come second? or to keep fighting for first place and end up giving up the race because you kept pushing?
Translated with DeepL.com (free version)
Great example and also good point about fear!
When I started yoga and was talking to my therapist about how good the child's pose that we did at the end of a class felt, he said "Letting go is a powerful thing to do."
Absolutely
That's why I don't think of it as quitting. More like moving on. :-)
Good way to put it
Thanks. You are right.
Wow that's a powerful example. Thanks.
Glad you thought so!
Blind obedience is insanity. You did not quit but you honored another, superior project your son represents to you.
Makes sense!
Thanks for making this important point, Alexander.
Thanks for reading!
One of the best ways to quit something stupid is to regularly fast- which is a funny word as it means to stop eating.
In effect it means to stop everything, because if you stop eating you slow right down and don't do many things with any speed at all.
Fasting on a regular basis helps you to review where you are and what you are doing.
The point of fasting is not to punish yourself to please God, but to undertake a voluntary rest from the usual pace of life, and focus on God's way of life- to get off the treadmill and observe what we are doing.
When we undertake fasting with prayer, we can observe what we are doing in an objective and honest way.
The voluntary cessation of eating puts you in a frame of mind to voluntarily cease other things as well.
Eating is necessary for life, but to voluntarily stop eating is essential to determine if you are living a life that is supporting and promoting life, rather than one that is undermining the pattern of life.
Fasting is really great for us.
Alexander, this is exactly what I needed today as I've been waffling back and forth with some life decisions and feelings of overwhelm. I'm so stubborn, and it takes multiple signs from the universe for me to give in, but this happens to be one of them haha. Thanks!
hahah so happy to see that it was helpful!
Quitting a bad job, slavery, a bad partner, a miserable country or culture is clearly winning 🙂 I’m planning some of these already!
Great examples!
I'm going to have to think about this.
Thank you for sharing this perspective.
Thanks for readinb.
These are great experiences you shared. Thank you. X
Thanks for reading!
I learned this in my first days of divorce after 10 years of drowning in regret and prideful resistance to the inevitable realization that nothing could save that relationship...so I had to let it go...to save myself..so I could be present for my small daughters who were counting on me to make a way as a single mom...it was not what I had planned and at times I struggled to be the best mom for them..yet I never thought of returning or even missed my life before...letting go of my illusions of a marriage that was not meant for me was the only answer...but it was challenging and emotionally ...painful...and 30 years after..still letting go one layer at a time...
So sorry, that is very tough, God bless you
An example of this was my career change from social work to higher education. I wasn’t good at social work and wasn’t enjoying it. Looking forward to my higher education career
Great life example!
Sometimes, we just need to cut our losses and move on.
I agree!