Reminds me, once again of your interview with Coleman. We must work all day, every single day, at dropping the flesh, so we have a clear path to love. It's our self-absorbed nature to be right/defensive, rather than to love like He does. Many years ago we read a book in marriage group, that was actually boring, until these words jumped out at me "look at each other as a child of God." After years of letting life and busyness take over, this has finally sunk in, through the prison of immense grief. At some point we finally listen. Thank you friend, cause I was a bit sad yesterday. I know you know. ox
I have always heard that you must learn to love yourself before you can love another. Does this contradict your philosophy? Or is loving yourself akin to loving God?
To love oneself is taken for granted in scripture, Matt 12:33, Eph 5:28-29.
Yet today people are so confused that they don't know the difference between self love and self gratification.
Gal_5:14 For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
James_2:8 If ye fulfil the royal law according to the scripture, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself, ye do well:
Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law. Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law. Rom 13:8 -9
While love is the fulfilment of the law, doing the law perfectly is not actually a definition of love, for the law is spiritual and must be kept in the spirit and intent of it.
I think the root of loving ourselves rightly is seeing ourselves rightly - we are the creation of God in His image. Even those of whom we might rightly say despise themselves or have "low self-esteem" do in fact love themselves - immensely. Their error is in what they look to as their value. Instead of looking to God, they look inwardly to self. "If only I was better at this or that, then I would be a good person." It's the lie of Satan that goes back to original sin.
The problem with self love that is not rooted in the humility that we are the image-bearers of God and that all good things come from Him is that it is just arrogance.
The book of Ephesians is an excellent treatise on humility. The first half reminds us of all that we were before God saved us (lost, following after evil, dead, without God and without hope) and of all that we have now in Him (His mercy, His love, made alive in Christ, raised with Him, seated with Him in the heavenly places), and the second half is all about walking in light of those blessings in Jesus Christ (unity in the body of Christ, walking in the newness of life, walking in love, commands for our relationships with one another).
And the hinge upon which this all hangs is humility. Paul states it clearly in the opening of chapter 4, right between the two halves of the letter.
"I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."
A lack of self love is never the problem; it is only the object of that love.
I would restate it this way:
"We cannot love others rightly until we love what God has done in us"
Thanks, brother. I've thought about writing a book on humility. The working title is "Humility and How I Attained It". It'll be released in the volumes. I think it'll be a great hit! /s
In all seriousness (sometimes that's hard for me!), Paul deals with this in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10
"7 So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
Note that Paul lists both external situations (hardships, calamities), internal deficiencies (weaknesses), and threats that reach from the outside to the inside (insults, persecutions). Whatever the source of our lack of self esteem, the resolution is the grace of God, not self love. That, we already do!
In fact 2 Corinthians chapters 10 - 12 are a great example of the directed purpose of humility - the building up of others. It is not loving yourself that is the key to loving others. Rather it is boasting in Christ! Want to love others? Preach the gospel!
Yes, well said. We show our love to God in how we love others.
If anyone says, I love God, and hates his brother, he is a liar. For if he does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? And we have this commandment from Him, that he who loves God should love his brother also.
"I think the root of loving ourselves rightly is seeing ourselves rightly - we are the creation of God in His image."
However, God tells us that we can't see ourselves rightly unless we are called by him and given his Holy Spirit to understand how God thinks.
While scripture does seem to take for granted that people "love themselves"- (For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord loves the church. (Eph 5:29) -there are people today who hate the creation of their own bodies so much that they won't accept what sex they have been made. They cut bits off and take hormones because they think they are in the wrong body!
This whole nonsense of "transgenderism" is a very specific way of hating the self, that is the physical creation that God has made.
Those who support such delusions (including the new British Prime Minister!!!) also hate the creator as they are willing to say that it is not "very good" as God told us it was.
Yet one could say that such deluded people don't actually "hate the flesh", but are a prime example of those that love the fleshy way of thinking, which is opposite to the Godly way of thinking, which is what Paul is talking about in Romans:
"For they who are (living) according to the flesh mind (focus on) the things of flesh, but they who are (living) according to the Spirit (focus on) the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace because the carnal mind is enmity against God, for it is not subject to the Law of God, neither indeed can it be. So then they who are in the flesh cannot please God. But you are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if the Spirit of God dwells in you. But if anyone has not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of His.
(Rom 8:5-9)
To love ourselves is to love who we are as God made us, and to love the potential that God has given us by opening our eyes (with His Spirit) to become the eternal sons of God, and in order to do this we must follow Jesus example in the flesh of overcoming the world, the flesh and the devil.
Great article. So many people are self-righteous. It took me years to know difference. Now it is better to be humble before the Lord because I cannot do anything without him.
A wonderful read to start my day, Alexander. We all need reminding to love more and be kind to others. Time to put our egos in the cupboard. Cheers for this.
Good stuff my friend!! I have to catch myself when I start thinking I have been disrespected or not treated the way I think I should be. Sure that is a thing and it isn’t pleasant but it is in how I react that tells me who I am. If I react with anger self righteous anger and indignation then I am being ruled by my ego. If I react with compassion and understanding for the one who has behaved badly and give whatever feelings I may have about it to God it is possible to learn something and go on
Today Wayne takes his second road test after failing the first. I've been worried. He lost his licence after being in an accident. Over 70's have to take the driving tests to get it back. He went to a senior's brush-up class and was told he would have no trouble passing. I'm a worrier who tries hard to hide it so sometimes the negativity bubbles up and comes out in ways I know are not healthy for me and sometimes for those whom I love. Yesterday as Sarah and William were going back to their place, I mentioned to Sarah about the test. She said, "Mom, if he doesn't pass, it's okay; he can try again, and I'm sure there is a reason behind another fail if that happens." She knows me. I worry, and the worry is pointless. It shakes me up and it doesn't allow me to appreciate the small wonders of life. I find myself wanting things to be manageable and stress-free but they aren't. I'm sure that is an addiction also. I see it in me and in others as well. I need to remember: Whatever happens, happens, and I can deal with it if it comes, but no worries over what has not happened.
If I lived where you get temps like that, I'd be miserable. When it gets above 75 or so, I jump in the Lake no matter how cold it is. I hope you have a sprinkler or a hose handy LOL !
Chills. Excellent Alex.
Reminds me, once again of your interview with Coleman. We must work all day, every single day, at dropping the flesh, so we have a clear path to love. It's our self-absorbed nature to be right/defensive, rather than to love like He does. Many years ago we read a book in marriage group, that was actually boring, until these words jumped out at me "look at each other as a child of God." After years of letting life and busyness take over, this has finally sunk in, through the prison of immense grief. At some point we finally listen. Thank you friend, cause I was a bit sad yesterday. I know you know. ox
You can always talk to me about it too, message me anytime.
Thank you. I know I can. It goes both ways ✨ So thankful for our friendship. ox
Thought provoking. I think sin involves anything which represents disobedience and creates distance with God.
Yes
I have always heard that you must learn to love yourself before you can love another. Does this contradict your philosophy? Or is loving yourself akin to loving God?
Absolutely you must love yourself, you can’t truly love others unless you love yourself.
To love oneself is taken for granted in scripture, Matt 12:33, Eph 5:28-29.
Yet today people are so confused that they don't know the difference between self love and self gratification.
Gal_5:14 For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
James_2:8 If ye fulfil the royal law according to the scripture, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself, ye do well:
Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law. Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law. Rom 13:8 -9
While love is the fulfilment of the law, doing the law perfectly is not actually a definition of love, for the law is spiritual and must be kept in the spirit and intent of it.
I think the root of loving ourselves rightly is seeing ourselves rightly - we are the creation of God in His image. Even those of whom we might rightly say despise themselves or have "low self-esteem" do in fact love themselves - immensely. Their error is in what they look to as their value. Instead of looking to God, they look inwardly to self. "If only I was better at this or that, then I would be a good person." It's the lie of Satan that goes back to original sin.
The problem with self love that is not rooted in the humility that we are the image-bearers of God and that all good things come from Him is that it is just arrogance.
The book of Ephesians is an excellent treatise on humility. The first half reminds us of all that we were before God saved us (lost, following after evil, dead, without God and without hope) and of all that we have now in Him (His mercy, His love, made alive in Christ, raised with Him, seated with Him in the heavenly places), and the second half is all about walking in light of those blessings in Jesus Christ (unity in the body of Christ, walking in the newness of life, walking in love, commands for our relationships with one another).
And the hinge upon which this all hangs is humility. Paul states it clearly in the opening of chapter 4, right between the two halves of the letter.
"I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."
A lack of self love is never the problem; it is only the object of that love.
I would restate it this way:
"We cannot love others rightly until we love what God has done in us"
Wonderful commentary, worthy of an article
Thanks, brother. I've thought about writing a book on humility. The working title is "Humility and How I Attained It". It'll be released in the volumes. I think it'll be a great hit! /s
Thats awesome!
We could write it together, but I would have to be the lead author!!
In all seriousness (sometimes that's hard for me!), Paul deals with this in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10
"7 So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
Note that Paul lists both external situations (hardships, calamities), internal deficiencies (weaknesses), and threats that reach from the outside to the inside (insults, persecutions). Whatever the source of our lack of self esteem, the resolution is the grace of God, not self love. That, we already do!
In fact 2 Corinthians chapters 10 - 12 are a great example of the directed purpose of humility - the building up of others. It is not loving yourself that is the key to loving others. Rather it is boasting in Christ! Want to love others? Preach the gospel!
Yes, well said. We show our love to God in how we love others.
If anyone says, I love God, and hates his brother, he is a liar. For if he does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? And we have this commandment from Him, that he who loves God should love his brother also.
(1Jn 4:20-21)
Certainly agree, in general.
You said:
"I think the root of loving ourselves rightly is seeing ourselves rightly - we are the creation of God in His image."
However, God tells us that we can't see ourselves rightly unless we are called by him and given his Holy Spirit to understand how God thinks.
While scripture does seem to take for granted that people "love themselves"- (For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord loves the church. (Eph 5:29) -there are people today who hate the creation of their own bodies so much that they won't accept what sex they have been made. They cut bits off and take hormones because they think they are in the wrong body!
This whole nonsense of "transgenderism" is a very specific way of hating the self, that is the physical creation that God has made.
Those who support such delusions (including the new British Prime Minister!!!) also hate the creator as they are willing to say that it is not "very good" as God told us it was.
Yet one could say that such deluded people don't actually "hate the flesh", but are a prime example of those that love the fleshy way of thinking, which is opposite to the Godly way of thinking, which is what Paul is talking about in Romans:
"For they who are (living) according to the flesh mind (focus on) the things of flesh, but they who are (living) according to the Spirit (focus on) the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace because the carnal mind is enmity against God, for it is not subject to the Law of God, neither indeed can it be. So then they who are in the flesh cannot please God. But you are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if the Spirit of God dwells in you. But if anyone has not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of His.
(Rom 8:5-9)
To love ourselves is to love who we are as God made us, and to love the potential that God has given us by opening our eyes (with His Spirit) to become the eternal sons of God, and in order to do this we must follow Jesus example in the flesh of overcoming the world, the flesh and the devil.
Wholeheartedly agree! Unless the Holy Spirit has done the work of regeneration, all the wisdom of scripture is foolishness.
Great article. So many people are self-righteous. It took me years to know difference. Now it is better to be humble before the Lord because I cannot do anything without him.
100%
A wonderful post! Thank you, Alex!
Loved the insight! Anything we have, and everything we do that is apart of God, His grace and His glory, is selfish.
I would offer the other side of that coin is: never wanting to be wrong, or at fault. It wasn't me! It's not my fault!
We must will humbly willing to accept we are wrong.
For sure!
A wonderful read to start my day, Alexander. We all need reminding to love more and be kind to others. Time to put our egos in the cupboard. Cheers for this.
Absolutely
Good stuff my friend!! I have to catch myself when I start thinking I have been disrespected or not treated the way I think I should be. Sure that is a thing and it isn’t pleasant but it is in how I react that tells me who I am. If I react with anger self righteous anger and indignation then I am being ruled by my ego. If I react with compassion and understanding for the one who has behaved badly and give whatever feelings I may have about it to God it is possible to learn something and go on
I think so also, tough to do, but we can
Today Wayne takes his second road test after failing the first. I've been worried. He lost his licence after being in an accident. Over 70's have to take the driving tests to get it back. He went to a senior's brush-up class and was told he would have no trouble passing. I'm a worrier who tries hard to hide it so sometimes the negativity bubbles up and comes out in ways I know are not healthy for me and sometimes for those whom I love. Yesterday as Sarah and William were going back to their place, I mentioned to Sarah about the test. She said, "Mom, if he doesn't pass, it's okay; he can try again, and I'm sure there is a reason behind another fail if that happens." She knows me. I worry, and the worry is pointless. It shakes me up and it doesn't allow me to appreciate the small wonders of life. I find myself wanting things to be manageable and stress-free but they aren't. I'm sure that is an addiction also. I see it in me and in others as well. I need to remember: Whatever happens, happens, and I can deal with it if it comes, but no worries over what has not happened.
That is a good attitude, but so hard to actually get into that vibe
VERY! (he thankfully passed) Thanks for your writing here and in your books. You truly help keep me grounded. Blessings and hope :)
So happy to know that, God bless and stay safe from the heat!
Thank you, Alex! But we have had a very chilly, wet summer where I live. We need sun, please.
oooo haha it’s like 100 here!
If I lived where you get temps like that, I'd be miserable. When it gets above 75 or so, I jump in the Lake no matter how cold it is. I hope you have a sprinkler or a hose handy LOL !