Yes, I hate to lose. I hate it when my expectations are not met. And yes, looking back over my life, winning often led to suffering. Many times I was too immature or uninformed to make good choices. But I learned both from my successes and I learned from my failures. And I wouldn't be who I am without them all. For me, I just try to appreciate what I have in the moment each day. Because often success and failure are outside of our control, no matter how much we think we can control what happens next. And regardless of those who would sell us their information and services promising success.
There was a footballer called Vialli who said something like “there is winning and learning” which I thought was great. Of course it’s more complicated in life because there is the moral dimension of cheating and unhealthy competition!
Alexander. I admit that I don't like to lose, but I truly care more about the process. I also don't mind losing when I play with a child; infact, depending on the child, I will purposely lose if I see that I'm going to win too often. Thank you for your article; it certainly got me thinking.
I don't hate losing. Every loss I've gone through has led me to better things. I just don't see that until it happens. It used to hit me hard, but as time went on, I knew that its just a part of life. I haven't been dealt a greeeeaaattt hand through life so I can't say that I haven't been through lot of loss. I have, I guess I just dealt with it better as I got older and honestly, where I am now, I'm happy because of those losses. Because I gained so much from it.
"Trust the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding" is a tough verse to swallow. Our egos are always battling God. However, "peace that surpasses all understanding" is the reward for humble acceptance of loss, as a child of God must believe: with God, there is no loss. He always has something better in mind.
Hi Alexander, love this article, but wanted to mention the opposite point: What happens when you win?
Something Johnny Enlow taught a few months ago really resonated with me. He said ‘You will be tested when you Have, you will be tested when you Have Not’. His point was that it’s easy to turn to God when we have not, because we are desperate for help.
But the real test is when we Have. Are we willing to give the glory to God when we accomplish something, or do we pat ourselves on the back and give ourselves the credit? I’ve been trying to remember that ever since I heard it. I will reflect on how I can do better when I lose as well now thanks to your article.
I think it does matter what kind of loss it is and how it affects each person. I'm affected differently if I lose a judo match versus if I lose a lot of money in my investments. So there are gradations of loss. The key is understanding the motivation and intent behind what I am striving for and how I measure winning and losing. Also, if I learn, I never lose. Focus your intention on process over result and then even when you lose you win.
I imagine if someone keeps winning all the time they might end up with a big ego. Losing from time to time keeps us humble, grateful, and learning. Of course if we are willing.
Depends on how someone looks at it and what they are leaving behind. I think if they see that their child is happy and has had a good life, that would mean a big win.
When my family get together, we are all SEC football fans. I am a Arkansas Razorback fan and if you know college football just a little you might be able to "feel my pain". My wife is a Georgia Bulldog, cousins Alabama, the rest are Mississippi and Auburn. As of late Arkansas is the team you want to play for your homecoming game.
Yes, I hate to lose. I hate it when my expectations are not met. And yes, looking back over my life, winning often led to suffering. Many times I was too immature or uninformed to make good choices. But I learned both from my successes and I learned from my failures. And I wouldn't be who I am without them all. For me, I just try to appreciate what I have in the moment each day. Because often success and failure are outside of our control, no matter how much we think we can control what happens next. And regardless of those who would sell us their information and services promising success.
Love this commentary, that’s life
There was a footballer called Vialli who said something like “there is winning and learning” which I thought was great. Of course it’s more complicated in life because there is the moral dimension of cheating and unhealthy competition!
Yes!
Alexander. I admit that I don't like to lose, but I truly care more about the process. I also don't mind losing when I play with a child; infact, depending on the child, I will purposely lose if I see that I'm going to win too often. Thank you for your article; it certainly got me thinking.
I do that also haha
I don't hate losing. Every loss I've gone through has led me to better things. I just don't see that until it happens. It used to hit me hard, but as time went on, I knew that its just a part of life. I haven't been dealt a greeeeaaattt hand through life so I can't say that I haven't been through lot of loss. I have, I guess I just dealt with it better as I got older and honestly, where I am now, I'm happy because of those losses. Because I gained so much from it.
Great piece!
"Trust the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding" is a tough verse to swallow. Our egos are always battling God. However, "peace that surpasses all understanding" is the reward for humble acceptance of loss, as a child of God must believe: with God, there is no loss. He always has something better in mind.
Perfect verse! So important.
Hi Alexander, love this article, but wanted to mention the opposite point: What happens when you win?
Something Johnny Enlow taught a few months ago really resonated with me. He said ‘You will be tested when you Have, you will be tested when you Have Not’. His point was that it’s easy to turn to God when we have not, because we are desperate for help.
But the real test is when we Have. Are we willing to give the glory to God when we accomplish something, or do we pat ourselves on the back and give ourselves the credit? I’ve been trying to remember that ever since I heard it. I will reflect on how I can do better when I lose as well now thanks to your article.
For sure, I love that subject as well, the ego
I think it does matter what kind of loss it is and how it affects each person. I'm affected differently if I lose a judo match versus if I lose a lot of money in my investments. So there are gradations of loss. The key is understanding the motivation and intent behind what I am striving for and how I measure winning and losing. Also, if I learn, I never lose. Focus your intention on process over result and then even when you lose you win.
I agree!
Life does have its ups and downs.
Yes!
I imagine if someone keeps winning all the time they might end up with a big ego. Losing from time to time keeps us humble, grateful, and learning. Of course if we are willing.
So true!
Why is there so much losing toward the end of life?
Depends on how someone looks at it and what they are leaving behind. I think if they see that their child is happy and has had a good life, that would mean a big win.
When my family get together, we are all SEC football fans. I am a Arkansas Razorback fan and if you know college football just a little you might be able to "feel my pain". My wife is a Georgia Bulldog, cousins Alabama, the rest are Mississippi and Auburn. As of late Arkansas is the team you want to play for your homecoming game.
Haha good times
Thank you and thanks for sharing your personal experience, great benefit to reach a higher maturity level earlier!