16 Comments

"Are you willing to hurt yourself spiritually and emotionally because you cannot fathom a thought of upsetting someone?"

OhmyGAWD I resonate with this so much. The times I have made other people comfortable at my own expense is mind boggling - and something I work at improving every single day.

I needed to read this today. Thank you.

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You’re not alone!!

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I appreciate you saying that, even though it makes my heart hurt for you and anyone else for whom this resonates. I write about this topic a lot in order to make sense of it. How do you sort it out for yourself, Allison?

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You’re a very generous and kind spirit. I’m still working to figure it out but the first step for me is self-awareness and practicing self-compassion. I’ve learned to be more selective about with whom I surround myself and to listen to my intuition. The truth is, sometimes people need to be upset - as long as it’s not malicious, it can help them grow. And before I fill the comments with a million strategies here… DM me!

Also, living in Philly has made me more comfortable pissing people off sometimes!

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So glad it was helpful, that makes me very happy, truly. And yes, I know how that is, I had to go through this a lot as well.

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Alexander,

People have borders for good reasons. Sure wish we had a border for our country. We are allowing thousands of undesirables into our country every day. It sickens me because I spent more than four decades in our military and now this? Seems so unfair because illegals are getting more from our government than I am. Why? Evil pervades every government agency now. Makes me sick.

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There is certainly this interpretation, Terry. On a National scale, it’s so much more complex. - But the fundamentals remain: those of us who want secure US borders feel violated, literally so, by what is happening. And yet we are nearly powerless to say “NO”, at least until there is a change in government that meshes with our needs. Fully half of the citizens of the most powerful nation on earth (or at least it was) are being VIOLATED. It’s not about being unkind, insensitive, un-Christian.

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Putin should have learned to not covet thy neighbor's land and people.

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Yes.

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Thank you for another eloquent piece. This resonates with me on multiple levels and is a reminder I needed this morning. Thank you for all you write! 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦

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God bless!

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Borders are so important to a person’s well being. I do struggle with telling people where my borders are for fear of giving offense; though I value my borders so much. Thank you for this!

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Thanks for reading! It can be a struggle for many of us, me included!

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Indeed. Also how to teach your kids politeness vs. boundaries.

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I like this way of thinking about personal boundaries. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on it.

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Thank you!

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