The art of humility

A short essay

This year the Winter speaks in the language of the rain. Short hours of daylight filled with tears; the sky cries from dawn till dusk, silently the earth drinks up these sweet tears from Heaven. Grey, grey are the days, quietly rolling away, grown from the dirty wet ground, joyless dark hours of a snowless Winter.

Has God forgotten to paint this Winter white? Am I punished by the weight of these dirt-covered days? My sight cast downward for no matter where I look, all is grey. The sky, the muddy ground, the houses, the fog, all is grey.

I close my eyes and inhale. The sweet scent of the earth fills me, a promise of life it carries within. The humble grey earth cradles the seeds of Spring in it. Warm earth, the keeper of life never sleeps, standing on guard of the life hidden in seeds.

Humility is the dirty earth giving life to the blooming trees in Spring, the fields of flowers shining like diamond tapestries on the green-woven land.

God creates through humility, all colours shine the brighter on the grey. The embers burn red in the grey ashes. A clump of grey clay turns into a magnificent vase touched by the potter’s dirt-covered hands. Humility is the begging of art. The humble beginning of greatness. True creation is the art of humility.

I’ve learned this working as a visual artist in the years of my youth. The more my ego showed through the artwork, the more mangled it came out. True creation begins with humility. Stepping away from one’s ego. Listening to that voice within, letting the Holy Spirit create through you; that is the way of true creation. Yes, it means losing yourself, becoming the grey earth that feeds life. Overlooked, forgotten, lost, but letting the brightest colours grow into existence through you. Art is not about the artist feeding his ego. Great art is about God’s voice finding its way into this world through the artists hands.

When I used to paint on canvas, and now when I’m writing, I don’t focus on what I want to say. I let God find his way through me. How does that work? I let the ideas and words come to me. I don’t resist them as they are, I don’t force my ideas, my opinion into the words I write.

You know that feeling, when a story or a sentence pops into your head out of nowhere? Let it come. Write it down. Let God use you as His instrument. Let His ideas and words flow through you like a river. He will use you wisely, for each artwork requires the right instrument to create it. Don’t be afraid to step back from your ego, give into God’s hands, let Him create through you. The joy of humility will fill you when you see what greatness God has let you create.

During my studies in the Art Academy, we learned about the Medieval artists. The ones who created the first magnificent stained-glass windows of the Gothic cathedrals. They never signed their work. Because they gave all the glory of the creation to God. That’s what art is all about. Not the artist’s persona, not his ego. It’s about the art, and God who inspired its creation.

I have never asked for these stories, or these words I have written. I haven’t forced myself to write them. They seem to appear out of nothing. Out of the grey days filled with rain, out of my head cast downward when I write, out of the grey dusk slowly filling the room. Humility, stepping away from my ego has given room for true creation. For that I thank God. He gave me a chance to be His instrument, and I will serve as best as I can.

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Thank you for reading! I am grateful to

Alexander Semenyuk

for making me a part of the Lighthouse team. Maybe it might not appear so but I’m an active Catholic. Does that automatically make me a good Christian? Of course, not. I make mistakes, I get into unnecessary online fights, I cuss. But I am trying to improve. I write horror stories, spicy romance, with characters swearing like sailors. How does that work with being a Christian? God is everywhere. Even in the darkest places. Even in horror stories, or love scenes. His message doesn’t stop by the bedroom door. Sensuality is His gift, and I try to write these scenes with dignity. Even the darkest stories can have the Christian messages hidden in them.

I hope you can forgive my flaws. I’m not a perfect, not even a good Christian. But I hope one day I will be. I hope this explains why I’m writing for the Lighthouse publication.