“Can you wish on a star, Mommy?” Suzy asked me, tugging on my arm. She stared up at the dark sky, her tiny fingers excitedly pointing at a bright light.
“Well …” I glanced down at her smiling face. “You could try, but I don't think that star will work.”
“But why?” Suzy complained.
“Because … that's a plane,” I chuckled, just as the sound of jet engines reached our ears. The large aircraft flew over the dazzling New York City buildings.
“Oh.” Suzy crossed her arms, disappointed. “When can I wish on a star?”
“When you see a star,” I answered. The crosswalk turned green, and I held tightly onto Suzy's hand as we crossed over.
“Why can't I see any?”
“Probably because of the light pollution.”
“What's light po-luh-shion?”
“Uhm …” The sidewalk started to get more clustered, making navigation with a six-year-old harder. I scooped her up in my arms and kept walking down the street. “It’s something that happens when there's too many lights outside. It makes the stars hide.”
“I don't like it when stars hide,” Suzy went on. She tangled her fingers in my brown hair, gently pulling on my curls. I studied her round face, watching how she blinked slowly and yawned repeatedly.
It was a long night, full of taxi rides and subway stations. All to visit family who couldn't help but remind both of us that we were alone. And shouldn't be.
“Are you cold?” I zipped up her winter coat higher.
“No …” Suzy wrapped her arms around my neck and laid her head on my shoulder.
“We're almost home,” I promised. “Then we can have coco, storytime, and bed.” I was grateful it wasn't snowing but wished the bitter cold air would lessen. I hoped Suzy couldn't feel my teeth chattering.
“When can I see a star?”
“Maybe when we go see your great aunt up north,” I offered. “There's less light pollution there.”
“But that's for another weeeekkk,” Suzy complained, kicking her legs and squirming. She jerked her head back dramatically, staring straight up at the sky. “I want to wish right now.”
“Well, what if we went to a water fountain tomorrow?” I offered. “You can wish there.”
Suzy sighed heavily, dropping her head on my shoulder again. “No, that's not the same.”
“Oh, honey,” I rubbed her back soothingly and held a smile. What is going on in her beautiful head? We came to our apartment complex and stepped into the elevator. Suzy was quiet when we went inside our apartment, barely spoke over coco, and stared at the ceiling while I read her a bedtime story.
“Mommy?” Suzy's quiet voice asked as I tucked her in bed.
“Hmm?”
“Does God ever hide like the stars do?”
“What–” I blinked, then swallowed hard. Slowly, I sat on her bed and stroked her hair. “Is that what this is about? You think God is hiding?”
“Well …” Suzy let out a frustrated sigh. “I don't think he does hide. But I don't think my prayers are working.” She shrugged. “So I dunno.”
“What have you been praying?”
“I can't tell you.” Suzy covered her face.
“Then why do you want to wish on a star so badly?” I tried a new approach.
“Because,” Suzy picked at the sleeve of my shirt shyly, “maybe because stars are closer to heaven, they can take the wish to God faster.”
“Oh, I see,” I nodded understandably. I had to blink a few times, amazed at the complexity of my daughter's imagination and hopes. “Well maybe …” I swallowed hard again. “Maybe we can find a star at your great aunt's farm. Can you wait until then?”
“I dunno,” Suzy shrugged again. “I can try.”
“Good.” I kissed the top of her head. “I'll make sure your wish gets to God, okay?”
“Okay.” Suzy hugged me tight, before snuggling up with her stuffed animals and drifting off to sleep.
While I went to bed, wondering how I was going to get heavenly expedited delivery for my daughter's wish.
Suzy waited a whole week, searching the sky every night for a star to appear. One never did..I watched her grow hopeless with each day, disappointment completely weighing on her small shoulders. While I tried figuring out what it could be that Suzy just had to wish and pray for.
I prayed she would tell me, but she never did.
Was it a bigger place to live? New friends? Or maybe the big kicker … for her dad to come back?
I wouldn't know what to do if that was the case.
“God, help me,” I whispered a prayer, “don't let little Suzy be disappointed.”
But he didn't respond.
Later that week, we hopped on a train for northern New York and we're greeted warmly by my aunt. But Suzy couldn't care less about the new doll she got and her favorite meal that was placed on the table. The second it was dark enough, she bolted out the back door and stood out in the middle of the backyard, searching for her star.
“No, no, no, no!” She practically cried, Suzy's hands on her face.
“What is it?” I met her outside, the cold air chilling my bones.
Suzy looked up at me with tears in her eyes, “You lied to me!”
“What?” I gasped, seeing the pain in Suzy's eyes.
“You said there would be no light po-luh-shion!”
I jerked my head back, looking up at the sky. I felt my own heart be struck with disappointment. “No, honey, that's snow clouds. They are blocking the stars, I'm so sorry.”
“Ugh!” Suzy kicked the small pile of snow at her feet. “Why do the stars always hide? I just wanted my wish! I just wanted God to hear me!” In that last part, I heard Suzy's voice crack as she burst into tears and ran inside.
“Suzy!” I called, running after her.
“No!” She slammed the backdoor in my face.
Making me feel like the worst, most disappointing mother on the face of the Earth. Immediately, I threw my own fist in the air.
“Snowing? Now?!” I let out an aggravated sigh. “Now what am I supposed to do?”
I felt like crying, but couldn't. I wanted to be a solution but had no control of the stars or clouds. I let Suzy down. Running my hands through my hair, I marched back inside. Frustration and my daughter's pain all collided inside of me.
“God, what do I do? How can I help her?” I half sobbed. But when no answer came, I dropped myself onto the kitchen stool, convinced that maybe it was true. Maybe God really was hiding.
How many times did I pray and nothing changed? How many times have I begged God for him to save my family? Only for it to end up with me alone and little Suzy believing that God was ignoring her.
“God, please, if you care …” I didn't even know why it was so important for Suzy to make her wish, but I still cared. “You have to show her. Please.” I rubbed my tired face, sighing heavily, and wondering how I could make a shooting star appear. “Suzy? Honey?” I searched for her throughout the house, hoping I could somehow save her from her sorrows. It took a handful of minutes for me to find Suzy sitting on the doorstep in the garage. She was pouting, with her eyes full of tears, and a frown on her face. “Are you okay?”
“No.” She shook her head. “Can we go home now?”
“Don't you want to stay longer? Maybe the sky will clear up.”
“It's okay, I don't wanna wish anymore.”
“Baby …”
“I'll go say goodbye to Auntie, then we leave,” Suzy jumped to her feet, giving me a peck on the cheek, before running back inside.
I stood there idle for a few minutes, wishing I could fix what felt broken. But when no solution came, I took one step inside …
“Wait.” My lips parted, the second I spotted a box in the corner of the garage. “Wait, wait, wait.” Hurriedly, I went to the box, flipped it open, then grinned. “Now, there's my shooting star …”
“Mommmyy!” Suzy complained, standing on the porch. Her arms were crossed and she looked like the definition of irritation. “It's snowing! Too cold! Can we go home?”
“You don't want to miss this, sweetie,” I told her, excitedly. I worked quickly with my hands while ensuring I was setting everything up properly.
“What are you even doing?” Suzy cocked her head to the side, curiously.
I met her gaze, smiling wildly. “Why don't you come and see?”
Suzy reluctantly obeyed, stomping her feet in the fresh pile of snow. The falling snowflakes got caught in her hair as she came to my side and stared at the contraption at our feet.
“Is it a rocket?” Suzy questioned, pressing her brows together.
“Close.” I bent on one knee and held her hands. “I was thinking… maybe we can send your wish through a firework.”
“A firework?” Suzy's eyes grew big.
“Mhm…” I nodded. “We can shoot up the firework and it will send your wish to the stars. Then maybe the stars will send it to Heaven.” I winked at her. “Quick and fast delivery for special little girl wishes.”
“Oh!” Suzy's lips parted. “Oooh!” She squeezed my hands and started jumping up and down. “That could work, that could work!” Suzy threw her arms around me, giving me her biggest, most suffocating hug. “Mommy! You are a genius!”
“Oh, Suzy,” I chuckled, hugging her back and chuckling softly. We met each other's gaze. “Anything for my girl.”
“Thank you, Mommy! Thank you!” Suzy grinned while clapping her hands. “Now, let's do it!”
“You bet.” I pulled out a match and told her to stand back on the porch. “After you make your wish, tell me and I'll send it off.”
“Okay!” Suzy ran back to the porch, bouncing up and down in joy. I watched her pause for a moment, fold her hands together, and whisper something under her breath. “Ready!”
“Alright, here we go!” I lit the firework and ran to my daughter's side. Scooping her up in my arms, I held her high as she watched the small missile shoot straight up into the sky. Once the firework broke past the cloud barrier, it made a loud pop sound before exploding into a bright blue.
“Ohh!” Suzy gasped, bouncing in my arms. “Look, look, look!” She pointed at the sky, captivated as she watched the clouds suddenly part and an entire sea of stars appeared.
“Oh my …” My mouth hung ajar.
“It worked!” Suzy squealed. “It worked! Look! The stars came!” I watched her precious face start to laugh joyfully with a mix of tears. “They're not hiding!”
“That's right,” I spun us around, feeling proud and relieved at the same time. “The stars aren't hiding.” Suzy jumped down to the ground and ran in circles, rejoicing.
“It worked! It came true! It worked!” Suzy laughed and screamed happily, before dropping backwards into the fresh snow and making her own snow angels. “Look at those stars!”
I joined her in the snow angels, joining in on her laughter and wonder. “They're beautiful!” I smiled at her. “Do you want to make your wish now?”
“What?” Suzy laughed. “Mommy, you're silly. I already made my wish and look! It worked!”
I tilted my head to the side, curiously. “What was your wish, Suzy?”
My little daughter scooched closer to me, resting her head on my shoulder. I watched her use her finger to connect the dots of the stars, her precious imagination lightening her gentle heart. “I wished …” she whispered as if to share some sacred secret. “That God would show Mommy that he's not hiding anymore. So Mommy doesn't feel alone.”
“You …” I choked back a sob. “You wished that? For me?”
“Yeah,” she nodded innocently.
“Why?”
“Because …” Suzy's arms wrapped around me. “I have you. But you need someone, too. So I thought God could be your someone.” She squirmed a little, kicking up some snow. “I don't know why he took forever to answer me but … look!” Suzy giggled, pointing at all of the billions of stars. “The stars aren't hiding anymore! So God isn't either, right?” Suzy's big eyes searched for the truth. “Did my wish come true?”
I pressed my quivering lips together and pulled Suzy closer. We stared up at the heavenly wonder before us, the proof that God did care about my little girl's wishes.
“Yes. Yes, Suzy, your wish came true.” I kissed the top of her head. “You are the greatest gift God ever gave me. You are my bright and shining star.”
Foundation Scripture:
“He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds. He counts the number of the stars; He calls them all by name. Great is our Lord, and mighty in power; His understanding is infinite.”
(Psalm 147:3-5 NKJV)
“Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him.”
(1 John 5:14-15 NKJV)
Personal Thoughts:
I had a very different short story plan for this week. In fact, a couple of newly added drafts that were supposed to be for this story. But, I couldn’t help but feel inspired to write such a sweet and innocent story.
I recently had the honor of meeting my newborn niece for the very first time. And in that moment when I first held her in my arms (for almost a whole hour because I just didn’t want to let go…) I realized that all I wanted to do was tell and show her how much I love her. My niece, my little miracle and shining star, is the living proof that God hears my prayers. But more than that, He cares.
Since my niece was born, I’ve greatly been reflecting on my own personal relationship with my mother. I cannot express enough how many times and in how many different ways, my mother figured out a way to get me “expedited delivery” of all my prayers when I was little. In the smallest of ways, to the biggest ways … my mom has been the one to show me that God will never hide from me, but always shows up—even when I cant see it yet—and to keep talking to Him. Truly, my mom has shown me that when the stars hide, God will forever be my light. And I pray that one day, God will guide me into teaching my precious niece that same thing.
Thank you all for reading and God Bless! ⭐
Amazing work and wonderful reflections
A rocket helps a little girl with her wish. That was a nice story.