The Blindside of Self-Importance
Look up child, the world is born...
“Look up child, the world is born
Shoe's untied, and your soles are worn
Windows are rolled down
Sun is setting high
Windows are rolled down
I'm fixin' to die”
- Amos Lee, Windows Are Rolled Down | 2011
Once we’ve arrived to the party, it seems the world is setup to fail us.
Or.. is it that we are failing ourselves? the whole “free-will” thing.
After all, we inherit childlike qualities from birth that render us innocent. For awhile.
What does it mean to live in the magnitude of the world?
Wonder, reverence, can soon turn to indifference, derision. Worship of what is sanctified, set aside by the Creator, as a gift to humanity., the earth’s forests, oceans, solar system, wildlife, is presumed to exist for us in it’s perfect state as we toss garbage from our cars, walk away from a picnic or beach outing, leaving our drinks, wrappers behind. Passing the weak, forgotten, sick, phones up, smile for the selfie.
As early as 17, upon entering the ancient cloisters of higher education, if blessed we are so beyond self-important we can chant for only one ideal, agenda, ready to switch on a dime, or for a dime, void of the all-encompassing agony and grief of civilization, as if the cobblestones, steps, statues, and buildings built by masters, are listening to one side of the story.
Some would call this a rite of passage, moving from one stage of life to another. I believe it has reached beyond capacity to hold “peace talks” in it’s tempestuous hands. It is the salvation of self-importance, if not boredom, lacking purpose. Spiritual emptiness. If we truly cared about living in a civilized world there would be far more to scream about.
“The quality of ideas seems to play a minor role in mass movement leadership. What counts is the arrogant gesture, the complete disregard of the opinion of others, the singlehanded defiance of the world.” - Eric Hoffer, The True Believer
I love music, read articles about musicians, love to watch music documentaries, and in case you don't know, I’m married to a musician.
Singer/songwriter, Amos Lee often finds his way into my Spotify orbit, and when he does, I usually up the volume. His soulful, laidback voice caught the attention of Norah Jones’ bassist, Lee Alexander, at an open mic night in New York City in 2003. Alexander introduced Amos Lee to Jones, who invited him to open for her on tour. Several years later, I stumbled upon his music and recently read a note he sent his fans, upon the release of a new album in 2018, that struck me.
"This album is a dedication. It’s an offering – an altar of sorts to those who have shared their sorrows with me. For a period of time I was feeling barren and defeated, fed up with myself, with traveling and with touring. I had a strange sense of entitlement that lead me into a mirrored room of frustration, illusion, and exhaustion. I was listless, lost and buried in a bunker of my own self-importance and self-loathing. That all changed in an instant. In a small, tented gazebo in Lowell, Massachusetts in 2011. A husband and wife approached me at a meet-and-greet after a show, and had with them a basketball card of their 11-year-old son, Jack. They huddled close, pointed down to his beaming smile, wearing his Celtics jersey, holding a basketball, and shared with me that he passed the year before after a long fight with cancer. They explained to me with warmth and grace that the music I made was important to them in their final days with Jack, and that they still listened together at home, in the sacred hours when they wanted to feel musically connected to him. It was a moment of immediate transformation for me. I was blindsided by their generosity and openness. In all their depth of grief, they took the time and energy to come to my show, to wait in the rain, and to offer me such a deeply personal and powerful lesson. In meeting them, in this simple exchange, I felt a renewed purpose. I now wanted to release the self-importance that shuttered me in, and expose myself to other people’s stories, embrace them, and experience others first. This beautiful couple left me with Jack’s card that night, and when I got home from that tour, I put it on my bookshelf next to my family photos. Sometimes when I walk past his card, I say hello to Jack and his parents, and hope that they are all somewhere feeling peace. This year it was my turn to experience a great and significant life-changing loss, and these songs helped me find peace in that grieving process. The songs on this, my 7th album, are more yours than mine. I feel so grateful to have the opportunity to share, and to listen, to bring more music for you to rejoice, console, reflect, and disappear into darkness, light, big sun, and new moon." – AL
How many times in life are we struck, taken off-guard, humbled? It’s in these blessed moments we have a choice to turn a corner, walk deep into the ocean, baptize our souls, breathe gratitude over our lives, and do something to honor our Creator. Our purpose for living. To share with one another, listen and absorb our stories. Let’s face it, everyone and anyone with a platform from small to big, struggles with self-importance even if we don’t think so. I’ve read and heard more stories over the years of actors, singers, entertainers, even preachers, who lived inside a bubble, where the world outside pushed them into isolation, fueled by others who control their every move and those who worship them.
Every person talking to you from their entertainment, exercise, health-nut, cooking, pet loving, self-help or comical social media pulpit is struggling along with self-importance.
We are struggling without social media.
Outside of our precious lives are human beings, from all walks of life, that are gone. We have no say over who lives and dies. There is no more darkness or light, for them here on earth. We are left behind to hold the hands of the grieving, acknowledge suffering and hopefully experience the Glory of Joy amidst.
The true gift of living is to be blindsided by Grace, look up like a child, and see the world is born.
“Some days it feels so hopeless
Nothing's makin' any sense
Flags we raise in praise of ruthless
Supposes innocence
Darkness, no more darkness
The broken days have beat dead of night
Darkness, no more darkness
No more darkness, no more light”
- No More Darkness, No More Light
From the album, My New Moon 2018. Dedicated as an offering to those we have lost collectively. This song was written right after Amos heard of the Parkland High School mass shooting. Today, September 4th, there has been another high school shooting in America.
Our great wars, wars with each other, are about spiritual bankruptcy. In our leaders, in ourselves. We can blame a million other things, but it will always boil down to this one thing. Nothing will change without a great revival of our Spirit.
My favorite Amos Lee song with the Colorado Symphony | 2018
“Windows are rolled down Sun is rising high I feel that wind rushing by”
Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. - Colossians 3:2
the wonder of child is what is lacking in this by adults who have forgotten that world is a place of wonder if we would take notice. It is all in the notice. With children immediately on these devices they are divorced from wonder quickly now and may never meet it! Wonder is what is lacking in this. The universe is wonder. The stars are wonder. The sun is wonder. Plant growth is amazing. On a iPhone at two years is not.
Excellent, Deborah. So true. And, believe it or not I had never heard this singer. Wow. Thank you.