Eternal Embrace

A short essay/prayer. In truth, it's what I myself need to hear again and again lately.

Lately I’ve been experiencing anxieties and physical hardships, and at times I don’t understand why do I even bother… then I remember that evil attacks us when we’re getting stronger.

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*image taken from Canva

Fear grips me in its cold hands and chokes me until I can hardly draw my breath.

The darkness creeps around my head, it whispers ruthless words, ripping my confidence to shreds. You are worthless, it says. Your efforts are futile. You are a failure. You’re a burden, it hisses in my ear. The dark voice of death laughs at me.

Time takes away my beauty. The freshness of my skin. The clarity of my voice. The courage to stand tall. The health to withstand storms.

I fall behind. Others are faster, and stronger. Envy weaves around me, the hideous serpent of doom. Look at them! You are nothing comparing to them. Look! They praise each other. Not you. Never you. They’re friends. You have no friends. People barely tolerate you. You will never be as good as them. You should give up…

The dark voices unite in a foul chorus. You should give up. You’re alone in the dark.

And you sit there, a tiny pile of misery, crouching in the darkest corner of your mind, tormented by your anxieties, suffocating in a panic attack, or migraine, or vertigo, or whatever the-flavour-of-the-month mental disorder is fashionable now. It seems so easy, to give up. Give into the darkness. Give up on yourself. End the suffering forever.

I would give up, if not for the tiny dot of light shining in my heart.

It finds you every time. It warms your cold heart. It teaches you to breathe again. Breathe steady, in the rhythm of prayer. Oh, it is there, in every heart, always. God can reach everyone, even in the coldest, darkest hour of despair. If you let that little light of prayer take over your heart, it will teach you.

God’s help is not a magic wand. All your troubles will not disappear instantly. He will help you step by step, one breath to another, one calm heartbeat at a time. He will restore your confidence, and your faith. And if you don’t see the point of living, just let God live through you.

Sometimes I feel I can’t stand being me. I can’t stand existing. Then I tell Him - live through me, Christ. You live. Please, live in me, fill my tired shell with life again. And He does. God takes me in His loving arms when I pray. He teaches me how to breathe again. He guides my feeble steps toward health.

I trust God. I give Him my fears and anxieties, my weaknesses, and my darkest hours. And God helps. His loving eternal embrace surrounds me.

God will never give up on you. Don’t give up on yourself. Give into His eternal embrace, and He will keep you safe in your darkest hours.

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