Can you be carried?
Of course you can fly.........but can you be carried?
Have you ever noticed how food cooked without love tastes terrible?
Like, no matter how fancy or popular the place is, if the cook is overworked, miserable, or just disconnected to what they're making, you can just taste it. To say the least, this makes me very particular about where I eat, not because I'm a foodie because I definitely am not, but because I hate eating someone else’s misery.
Because of this, I have cherished go-to spots, and one such place is this cute little Vietnamese restaurant in Santa Monica. As I enter, I’m greeted with the warmest smile from the husband and wife that own the space. I pull up a barstool and order my usual grilled shrimp bowl, often saying to myself how beautiful it is to be sitting in the middle of this couple's dream. A small yet modern space with a large window for outside pickup orders and for the wandering eyes of their seated guests. As the couple sways from the kitchen to the register, my fork digs into my bowl, and fish sauce-soaked vermicelli touches my lips to remind me I'm basking in their overflowing love of food. There's a peace in their space, a lightness and ease to their service that lets me know they didn't create this place in their own strength. Upon my last bite, I pay my tab and float out of their dreamworld so satisfied by a simple meal and sincere smile that rejuvenates me in a way that is beyond the ordinary act of eating.
It is not a stretch to say that every moment in their presence is a call to believe that there is a plan for all of us. While enveloped within the undeniable synergy of God's dream flowing through another, I can’t help but be reminded of the value of what we do but, most importantly, how we allow it to be done.
With time, maturation develops our capacity to see the divine and define how that presence shows up in our lives. In my youth, I’ve always seen god as a feeling of flying, soaring, a transcendental euphoria of inter-dimensional bliss, and in some forms of religious seasons or spiritual practice, this is perhaps the goal. However, in my new walk with Christ, and when I say new, I mean …..new. I’ve noticed a different experience of presence, not one of a high per se, but more of a feeling of being carried.
Now, for some of us, asking to relax, trust, and allow ourselves to be carried is like asking to hold your breath for 10 minutes. The body yearns to fight, to thrust, to make an effort in some way toward a desired outcome, and submitting is the last thing the mind wants to do. Everything within wants to fight against the way god wants to show up now.
Still, when I think about this couple's expression of love, I ask myself, were they flying or being carried? There's a subtle difference in this posture and experience, and as I taste the essence of their dream and see the softened, surrendered light coming from their eyes, I feel whose weightless hand made it all possible for them.
I think back to my previous life and the dreams actualized that soared me to heights beyond my imagination. If I can best describe the feeling, it was like going through a warp tunnel that moved so fast my cheeks were rippling through the sheer gravitational pressure, and I'm pretty sure I passed out several times. Soon, the forces that shot me up became heavy and began to thrust me back down until I was flated and nearly lifeless. A soaring false life I accepted not for the fame, money, or status but to be brought to the edges of myself so I could begin to learn what faith really looks like.
The love that I thought asked me to fly is now asking me to deepen this trust and allow myself to be carried, and this has been the hardest thing I have ever done.
Who would have ever known that a small, loving bowl of Vietnamese delicacy could have brought me this truth …
You didn't come here to prove what you're capable of, and getting everything you want is not why you're here.
You're here to build relationship.
To know God.
The only thing that will remain of us when our earthly pleasures are gone. So allow yourself to be held so close that whatever flows through you is straight from god and could only be done by your union.
Of course you can fly……… but can you be carried?
Thank you for reading, and thank you to Alexander’s Lighthouse for having me as a guest writer! If you’ve enjoyed this piece, subscribe to my newsletter, Waterloo Road! A weekly newsletter to encourage your unique and creative journey. Together, we explore creative expressions of faith through tea, music, style, nature, travel, and more. Below are links to some of my most-read. Jourdana x
Beautifully said.
I loved this especially, "You're here to build relationship. To know God."
Beautiful article.
“ Now, for some of us, asking to relax, trust, and allow ourselves to be carried is like asking to hold your breath for 10 minutes. The body yearns to fight, to thrust, to make an effort in some way toward a desired outcome, and submitting is the last thing the mind wants to do. Everything within wants to fight against the way god wants to show up now.”
Really like this description, very relatable!